i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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