his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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