Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm at about main and main street
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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