Kiss
Puke
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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