I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
