How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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