thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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