Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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