i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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