you win again, gameday.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize