Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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