3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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