I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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