just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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