I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I understand Curling. That high.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
