He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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