i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
