i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
