So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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