its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
