have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize