I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
