Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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