I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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