Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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