New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
