dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
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the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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