If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
