so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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