i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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