I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
two words: eviction party
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
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