please come you make the beer taste better
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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