Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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