i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize