Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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