She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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