Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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