If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
