don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
