i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
