I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
