so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
