Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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