So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
