I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
