i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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