Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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