you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
