Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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