just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I skipped work to stalk him.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
