I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
