We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
