i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
