I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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