im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
