Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
