just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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