I want to have your abortion
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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