you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
