After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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