Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
