Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
