I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize