I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I will be naked everywhere
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
